Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue.
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

-Owl City

*sigh* Goodnight.

Poems

My Heart in Your Palm

You’ve hold my heart in your palm, you don’t even realize it.
You could simply squeeze if you wanted, and there I’d lay, dead.
I know you don’t want that, and you don’t mean to do it,
But every time you look at me, I feel a slight tug,
As you run away with my heart in your palm, you don’t even realize it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Love Song

Don't sing a love song he wrote for someone else,
Because the whole time you're singing it he'll be thinking of her.
Instead write your own and share your own story,
Maybe then he'll see the way he tore into your heart.

Samuel Helps xD

Sam sent me this quote and I love it!

"It may seem stormy now, but the rain can't last forever."

I wonder

I look him in the eyes and wonder if he sees "I miss you" written all over my face.

Kanye West Death Story...

Alright, so I heard the death rumor and I had to look it up, just to see if it was true or not and this is the page that I found: Click Here

Quote:

Can't a Kanye catch a break? Already beleaguered by post-Taylor-Swift-interruption criticism, the egomaniacal rapper had to deal this week with the sudden proliferation of unfounded rumours of his demise. "RIP Kanye West" became one of the week's hottest Twitter topics – and it stayed that way even after Kanye West's aliveness became unquestionable. Amusingly for us and surely dishearteningly for West, the rapid debunking of the death meme merely spawned a whole new set of mutant West-mocking memes. "To whoever started the RIP Kanye West hoax," one went, "I'mma let you finish, but Balloon Boy had the best hoax of all time."

I'm not sure which makes me more happy, the fact that its not true, or that they used the word 'aliveness' in this article. Not gonna lie, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants when I read that. It was hysterical.

Help

I’m starting to question whether you meant it or not.
What if you didn’t?
What if those sweet kisses you gave me were nothing more than a responsibility to you?
I can’t stand it anymore.
I don’t know what you want me to do.
Am I supposed to just sit here and take it?
Are you really going to tell me you didn’t mean any of it?
Was it all a lie?
You’ve pulled me so far in just to make my heart drop.
I don’t understand the reasoning you have behind this.
I just need a little bit of help.
Help me…
Please…
Help…

Sick of Crying...

Alright, If you can't read what it says it says:

"Sick of Crying, Tired of trying, Yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying."

kind of how i feel, but i'm not tired of trying... I don't know what to do, but i liked this.

Good Thing Going

Thanks for the apology, it really means a lot.
I don’t know if you really meant it, but I’ll enjoy it for now.
I hope you can figure things out soon, because I really miss you.
We’ve got a good thing going, now, let’s try not to stop.
I wonder how many times I can do this,
But I’ll try for as long as you’re willing to do the same.
I like you a lot, and maybe its not love,
But babe, I can’t go a day without thinking about you,
And I was always taught not to give up if I can’t get it off my mind.
Let me tell you, sweetheart, you’re there every second.
Don’t doubt for one moment that your face isn’t right there.
If you’re thinking about me, chances are, I’m thinking about you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today was pretty great, not gonna lie. I liked it. I was happy with almost everything that happened today, I just hope it can stay good and not sucky. Maybe its more that I was on top of the world and then thrown down into a huge pit of spikes or something. Either way, I feel much better, lets just hope it sticks!

I'm Sticking to my Story

What do you mean you’ve been around assholes long enough to pick out the sweet ones?
There’s no way in hell you know what I’m talking about.
You’ve never felt this way, or maybe you thought you did.
I can’t help the guys you dated, but you can’t sit here and judge the one I like.
Yours were assholes.
Mine’s just confused.
He can’t help what he’s feeling.
He can’t help feeling afraid.
I’m not going to press him.
You go ahead and think what you want, but I’m sticking to my story.

I can’t have you trying to tell me what to do when you’ve never been with a guy for more than three months.
Does that make you an expert?
I don’t think so.
Whatever, girl.
Think what you want, but I’m sticking to my story.

How many times have you been with a guy that called you beautiful?
How many times have you cared enough about another human that you were willing to let go?
How many times have you sat back and watched that same person flirt endlessly with countless girls while you have no power whatsoever?
You don’t know how I feel.
Think what you want, but I’m sticking to my story.

11:11

I stare at the clock every night just to make that wish.
You know the one at 11:11, just to make a wish.
I waste my wish on things I hope will come true.
They probably won’t but I don’t think it hurts to try.
So if you want to know the secret to make my wish come true,
Listen real closely, every night I wish for you.

By: Kelli Smith

Arrow xD

Click on the image to see full picture. It doesn't fit xD

This is the Future

This is the Future
Wake up on your own
And look around you cuz you’re not alone
Release your high hopes and they’ll survive
Cuz this is the future and you are alive

Dive in and swim away
From your loneliness and miserable days

And when you wake up on your own
Look around you cuz you’re not alone
Let your hopes go and they’ll survive
Cuz this is the future and you are alive…
You’re headed home
-Owl City

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So my life has really been sort of a mess lately. I know its not my fault, but its not his either, and even if it is, I can't blame it on him. I can't force myself to say that he did it. I've only actually called him my ex twice and I really have to force it out. I guess I just need to accept it, but I can't help feeling this way. I don't know how to deal with it. I feel stupid, like I shouldn't be feeling like this at all. I hope I can get over it or he figures something out, because I'm dying a little bit.

Yesterday

I feel like the song 'Yesterday' by The Beatles pretty much covers how i feel right now....
or at least the first four lines...

"Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday."

So yeah, I don't know, but I'm kinda in a lame mood. I hope tomorrow's better :P

I did talk to Sam for a long time tonight and it was fun.... (The merry-go-round was still my favorite part)

Cannot Do It

I don't know if I can do it anymore.

It's kinda killing me, I think.

I can. I can do it, but it feels like I can't.

I can't breathe when I'm around him.

I just wish he'd acknowledge my existance.

*sigh*

I'm willing to wait until he makes a decision.

In Your World

In Your World

So I wonder why you liked me in the first place,
Its not like you act like you ever did now.
I fell for you from the first time we touched,
And I really thought you cared.
Apparently not, though.
I don’t really blame you; I’m not that great,
But you acted like you cared.
Cared about me.
Did you really?
Do you?
Whatever, I can’t get you out of my mind,
But apparently I don’t even exist in yours.

By: Kelli Smith

Maybe It'll Get Better...

Today's Graffiti.

(Click image for full picture)

The Boy I Knew

Another picture I edited, I don't know, its kind of lame, but I like it and I'm happy with it.

(Click Image to see full Picture)

Die a Little

This is a picture that I edited... its kinda how I feel right now... but oh well, I'll get over it eventually.

Awesome Graffiti

Alright, so that Graffiti application has some very talented people on it... mine suck compared to most of them, but i want you to see them, because they're awesome :)

This one's called "Best Friends" I just thought it was adorable :)

This one is really cool, but it doesn't have a title, I thought it was AH-MAZING, though :)

That's all of them for right now, i may share more later, but I just wanted to show you these because they're really cool.

(Click on the images to see the full pictures)

Never Hate You

How are you today?
Are you still depressed with life?
Is it killing you?

This is crazy, babe,
You have got to understand,
I just want to help.

Why not let me in?
What are you afraid of, huh?
Why make it this hard?

Just let me help you!
Would it really be that hard?
I want to get it.

I want to help you,
Through everything you need.
I don’t want to push.

You make this too hard,
Let me try to comfort you,
But you can’t just talk.

I think I get it,
But how can I be sure, huh?
Just trust me, you’ll see.

We may not be us,
But it’s hard not to miss you,
The real you, that’s right.

Don’t know you that well,
But I do know you’re not this,
You are not this guy.

You’re awesome and sweet.
I know it’s weird to say, but
I could never hate you.

An original by me: Kelli Smith

I Can NEVER Hate You.

(Click on the image to see full picture)